This link here is what I am posting about...so you might want to read it first if you haven't. I got it off one of my friend's blogs, and I thought I would do a post about it to.
http://www.danoah.com/2010/09/disease-called-perfection.html
"Perfectionism" is a disease. I absolutely hate it. The last little while I have been thinking about the way people are. Why can't we be honest with each other? Why can't we really lean on and rely on each other during hard times. We always put on a show and make sure everybody else knows everything is great in our life....when in reality, nothing is perfect. Nate and I had this talk last night...about "perfectionism". I loved the points he made about it. The only person that was perfect on this earth was Jesus Christ. He suffered for our sins and he died for us...which he didn't have to do. He could have given up the last minute, but instead, he loved US so much that he wanted to go through with it. He knew that was the only way we could return to live with our Father in heaven...by the choices we make and by the way we live. The reason this plan is so special is because we are all unique. None of us are the same. None of us have the same issues. We are all special. We all have challenges we deal with on a daily basis and we need each other, to comfort each other...to lift each other up.
I'm going to be real for a minute...the things in my life that aren't perfect, that maybe you don't see behind closed doors. Mind you, these are only a portion of my issues :)
My laundry. I have probably 5 baskets of CLEAN laundry, 2 or 3 in my bedroom, and 2 in the hall across from the laundry room. Why? Because I don't have time to fold them. So, when it's time to find clothes...we can never find what we need (especially socks). I still have piles of laundry to wash, but nowhere to put the clean laundry when I do wash them. I have sheets and comforters that have throwup on them from Tyson...because he likes to throw up in the middle of the night.
My dishes. I have done more dishes the last week, and my sink is still overflowing with dirty dishes. I can't keep up.
My bathrooms...I probably go months without cleaning my bathrooms. Honestly. I know, gross.
I say "no", "maybe later", and "wait a minute", to my kids WAY more than I probably should.
I am very selfish. I love to do things on my own time and my own way and when I don't get my way, I get really frustrated and upset.
I have a lack of organization. I have 2 or 3 junk cupboards and at least 2 junk drawers. My husband LOVES this one about me :)
I work 24 hours a week, and sometimes my kids sit in front of the TV for hours (especially Tyson), because I am working. Talk about GUILT!
That is a portion of ME...that is who I am. I am glad I am me. I am not perfect...far from it. But I am trying to be a better person, a better wife, and a better mom. I am grateful for the challenges I have been blessed with...yes, I said BLESSED with. They have made me a better person, and continue to make me see the real reason I am here.
So...let's make it real.
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11 comments:
I loved this post. I struggle with this every day. I work 40 (Probably closer to 50 sometimes) hours a week and also have piles of laundry, a disorganized house, my family is lucky if they get a hot meal 3-4 times a week, and I beat myself up over it every day.Maren watches "Cars" or "The Little Mermaid" at least once a day.
But I can tell you, having experienced the special needs of my own little one, that you are an AMAZING mom and are doing such a great job and your kids are so lucky to have you.
Thanks for sharing, I needed this today!
thank you thank you!!! for your comments on my blog and for your post here on yours. i think you are a great person and a great mom! i smiled when i read all your 'issues", i think i have a lot of the same ones!! nothing makes me feel better, like I am ok, than knowing that other people struggle too. I am so glad we get to keep in touch this way through our blogs. luvya! Meg
Oh Brande, how I love you! I just love the person you are, the friend you are, the fact that you let me use your ovens when you are gone and your house isn't "perfect", I love you just the way you are!
The fact that you can be open with your "issues" makes me love you even more! You are so right, we need to be honest with each other, it bonds us with one another and helps us feel that we aren't alone. I struggle with pretty much all of the same things that you do, I think so many moms do!
Remember that you ARE amazing and doing a great job! I am also glad that you are the person you are!
Well said! LOVED all of your "confessions". Seriously, why don't we do posts like these more often?
You're the best Brande!!
Brande, Rick and I think that you and Nate are so amazing. Now that Rick and I are empty Nester's, I look back at all the things I beat myself up for. Back then no one would have ever talked about theses things. How lucky you are to have a place to help everyone know that we all struggle with the same things. Wash, cooking, and cleaning bathrooms of 5 boys that never hit the toilet. Some nights I would pray that the lord would take me so I did not have to face another day of in-perfection. Now I struggle with loneliness. The illnesses I have are from trying to do everything a good Mormon mom was suppose to do. cook, bottle everything in site have the best garden, the perfect yard, the cleanest house, well behaved kids in church, coming up with the most fabulous stuff for what ever job you had at church, and feel guilty that you had a full time job. I like it when I come to your house and the laundry is not folded and you have stack's of dishes to do and your bathrooms are not cleaned. Because you make us feel so welcomed and that is the most important thing ever. Love you Rick and Susan
I look up to you so much. Thank you for being real, you always are. That's one thing that I love about you! I never have to feel like I need to pretend to be something different when I am around you because you have such a sincere love for people. You know just how to make me feel comfortable and accepted.
Have a wonderful week!
What would I do without you? Love you.
This is a great post Brande! It's something I realized about 7 years ago when we lived in our last house. I sat with a group of women as they shared their stories and it was amazing the things you find out when we are real with each other. You stop wondering why that person only has one child or those couples don't have any or the family that has 8 etc. It's a constant struggle, but if we all work on it together, we can help each other through it all! Love you, you're amazing and I'm so grateful you're my friend!
xoxo,
Amy
Brande,
Happened upon your blog through someone else's and loved the thoughts behind this. It is so comforting to know that I am not the only one with laundry baskets full all over the house and kids searching for a pair of socks. Boys camped out in front of the TV more often than they probably should and that I am not the only mom saying "just a minute" or "please wait" all the time!!! Thank you for reminding me what it is to be real!!!
Brande, you're AWESOME. I totally agree about perfectionism.... it's a disease! xoxo
I loved this post Brande. You are amazing. Seriously. I love this message. I think I need to read it every day. Thanks for being "real". xoxo
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